Pro-Abortion...with a Heart

 “Pro-Abortion . . . with a Heart”

Jeannie Ludlow

I just finished watching MTV’s “No Easy Decision.” Although I was skeptical going in, I think MTV did a wonderful job with this program. James and Markai’s conversations about their pregnancy and abortion, their fears, and concerns, sounded a lot like hundreds of stories I heard when I worked at an abortion clinic. The three young women who discussed their abortion experiences came across as open, smart, and caring—caring for their partners, families, themselves, and for the babies they had aborted. When Katie called her abortion a “parenting decision,” I cheered out loud. I applaud Markai, Natalia, Katie, and James for their courageous, frank discussions, and I thank MTV for producing this program.

There was one statement in the program that I would like to think about more carefully: that “no one with a heart” could feel unambiguously positive about abortion. Markai said it best when she said, “No one is pro-abortion—at least, no one with a heart.” I was so glad to hear her say this because I’ve been thinking about the phrase “pro-abortion” for a long time. When anti-abortion activists want to make us (abortion care givers, advocates, and activists) feel bad, they call us “pro-abortion,” and the phrase “no one with a heart” captures precisely why this label works to shame us. At the root of the “pro-abortion” accusation is the anti-abortion assumption that “abortion is always a tragedy,” that abortion cannot be a good and moral act. I have heard so many abortion rights advocates say, “I am pro-choice, not pro-abortion” or “no one is pro-abortion,” and I understand why we say these things—no one wants to be thought of as heartless. However, I am convinced that every time one of us says these things, we participate in the anti-abortion practice of stigmatizing abortion. Therefore, I’d like to ask folks who identify as pro-choice to rethink what it could mean to be “pro-abortion.”

I am pro-choice (actually, I prefer to be “pro-choices”), in the broadest sense of the term, because I believe that no one has the right to tell a person what s/he can or cannot do with her/his reproductive and nurturing capacities. To me, being pro-choices means working to ensure that people have choices regarding if, when, and how they parent children and have adequate support from our society once they become parents (however they do so). Being pro-choices means protesting against racist, classist, and ableist practices of sterilizing women (because of race, poverty, or disability) who do not choose to be sterilized. Being pro-choices means acknowledging that these practices have existed, and still exist, and working to end them.

Being pro-choices also means fighting against stereotypes about who “should” be mothers or who can be good mothers. Stereotypes like “irresponsible teen mother,” “unwed mother,” and “welfare mother” work to keep young and poor people in their place and disempowered. Assumptions that only those born with fully-functioning ovaries and uteruses can be good mothers are equally disempowering to transgender mothers and to some adoptive mothers. I am pro-choices when I fight these stereotypes. Being pro-choices is a responsibility that I take very seriously, a responsibility that many of us have voluntarily taken up on behalf of all children and their families.

Pro-choices is also about abortion. I worked at an abortion clinic for twelve years and feel incredibly privileged to have worked with and learned from abortion care workers and patients from all races and ages and walks of life—nurses, sex workers, ministers, college professors, moms—patients who were rich, poor, lesbian, heterosexual. Sometimes, these women’s stories broke my heart, and sometimes they frustrated me. Always, I was (and remain) incredibly impressed by the thoughtfulness and determination shown by those who took the decision to abort very seriously, whether they were happy about the abortion or anxious about it. The patients I worked with chose abortion for a variety of complex reasons that defy easy categorization.

Working in the clinic, I learned that abortion has many meanings in our lives. Abortion means freedom from the awe-inspiring responsibilities of parenthood for those who do not feel ready or freedom from “starting over” for those whose children are almost grown. Abortion means the ability to continue to care for the children someone already has without sacrificing financial independence or the ability to finish a degree program at a university. Abortion means the ability to heal and move forward from illness, family tragedy, or traumatic situations of rape, domestic violence, or incest. For many patients, abortion means taking responsibility for their own lives and for the lives of their children (born and unborn). In other words, abortion is part of a larger system of rights, privileges, and experiences that make parenthood one possible part of a full and flourishing life. I learned from the patients at the clinic that real life almost always exists in a “gray area,” is never simply good or bad, and abortion, like life, can be complicated. Because of these experiences (and many others), I have decided that calling myself pro-choices is just not good enough. I am pro-choices—for all the reasons stated earlier—and I am pro-abortion.

I realize that pro-abortion is a difficult term for many to embrace. Some people may assume that I think every pregnancy should end in abortion, which is not at all what pro-abortion means to me. Rather, what I mean by pro-abortion is this: I am convinced that abortion can and often does play a wonderfully positive role in women’s lives and, therefore, is a good and moral act. If we accept abortion as a good and moral act, we can see that it is not enough to fight for continued legality and improved access; we must fight the social stigmatization of abortion, too. In recent years, it has become too easy for the term pro-choice to be used almost apologetically. I feel very strongly that this apologetic discourse of pro-choice has made it easier for many medical caregivers, politicians, and reproductive rights organizations to take the easy way out—to get credit for being pro-choice without publicly acknowledging the importance of abortion in people’s lives.

That is why it is crucial to claim publicly all the ways abortion is moral and good and makes people’s lives better. I know my own abortion made my life better, and it made me a better mom when I was ready to have a child. Those of us who know that abortion is so much more than a tragedy must take the risk to name our position “pro-abortion . . . with a heart.” I ask those of you who share my appreciation for the positive ways abortion can function in women’s lives to consider claiming the label pro-abortion for yourselves. It is time to stop participating in the stigmatization of abortion, to take back the power of positive discourse, to show our pro-abortion hearts publicly and proudly.

Bio:  Jeannie Ludlow is Coordinator of Women’s Studies and Assistant Professor of English at Eastern Illinois University. She is Secretary of the Board of the Abortion Conversation Project, a member of the Abortion Care Network, and a member of the national foundation board of NARAL. From 1996-2008, she worked at the Center for Choice, an independently-owned abortion clinic in Ohio.